so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
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