Texts From Last Night

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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

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  (339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning... http://tfl.nu/swvs
  Replies (40) Good night (619) Bad night (2644)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?

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  (301): do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning? http://tfl.nu/rfsi
  Replies (55) Good night (4900) Bad night (544)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.

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  (302): Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself. http://tfl.nu/ycey
  Replies (8) Good night (3532) Bad night (1064)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay

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  (919): Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay http://tfl.nu/w5k9
  Replies (18) Good night (2051) Bad night (932)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.

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  (+44): I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode. http://tfl.nu/646n
  Replies (8) Good night (1969) Bad night (1509)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday

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  (989): Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday http://tfl.nu/e2qw
  Replies (3) Good night (1400) Bad night (661)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?

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  (781): What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body? http://tfl.nu/d4hy
  Replies (11) Good night (1636) Bad night (609)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina

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  (313): I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina http://tfl.nu/zo54
  Replies (5) Good night (3028) Bad night (775)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.

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  (717): Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together. http://tfl.nu/4ceo
  Replies (6) Good night (1476) Bad night (501)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude

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  (609): I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude http://tfl.nu/hndb
  Replies (10) Good night (1139) Bad night (494)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.

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  (410): Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences. http://tfl.nu/tv4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1248) Bad night (379)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I think that would solve a million problems

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  (774): I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining (508): I think that would solve a million problems http://tfl.nu/0h1f
  Replies (3) Good night (929) Bad night (293)
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  (559): View more from California

  I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right

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  (559): I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right http://tfl.nu/jxe2
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (279)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am

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  (479): it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am http://tfl.nu/9x4r
  Replies (0) Good night (300) Bad night (474)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.

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  (727): I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER. http://tfl.nu/hytb
  Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (232)

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