Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid