Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...