I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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