I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
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i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
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For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?