it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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