Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
