i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
