singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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