omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
