Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
