Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He passed out mid-signature
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
