i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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