I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
