Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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