mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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