when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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