In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
