i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize