So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
