My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize