If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
