i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think I sprained my soul last night
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
