Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
