were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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