in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
