i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
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i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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