you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I think i got beer on your cat.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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