Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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