So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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