you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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