The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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