i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
