his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So. Much. Porn.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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