I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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