would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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