Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
