He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
