I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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