She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize