I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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