So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
