My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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