So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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