that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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