fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
