we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
