how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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