Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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