Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
