the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
