Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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