Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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