marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just googled if crying burns calories
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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