Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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