Nicole vs. Life
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize