I wish I could teleport
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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