All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
