Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
