Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
