I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
