Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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