I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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