Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
