Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize