I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
