it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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