I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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