in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
